By Morgan Grimes
My name is Morgan! I’m an LA-based makeup artist originally from North Carolina!
I love living in LA but it can be very hard on anyone’s self-esteem. I’m going to take you all on my journey of self-love and what that has looked like for me over the years.
Growing up, I was always pretty slender and had my mother’s genes of great skin, so in my teens, I honestly didn’t worry too much about my looks or beat myself up about them until I reached my twenties. With a holistic upbringing, I have never taken birth control but sometimes accidents happen. I grew up in a religious home so I wasn’t about to tell my mom [about my decision]. I was on Plan B for a short time, and then came breakouts. Growing up with great skin, these breakouts were such a shock to me. I didn’t know this would disrupt my hormones so drastically. I became so self-conscious about how I looked. I would cake foundation on which in turn made my skin condition worse. Even with my mom being an esthetician, neither of us could get it under control. This was an extremely low period of my life. I started to become depressed, canceling plans with friends, staying home, missing out on jobs and life opportunities as a whole.
No matter what people said, I thought I was hideous. I dreamed of the day when I could leave the house confident with no makeup and feel good about myself.
This was about 7 years of feeling like that until I finally got it under control and my hormones adjusted. The battle of dealing with my self-image transitioned from beating myself up over my skin to criticizing my body.
Body Image: Navigating Mental and Unrealistic Societal Pressures
Working around gorgeous, fit models all day undoubtedly wore on my self-esteem. Dealing with severe ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), it becomes hard for me to gather enough energy to structure and stick with a workout routine. I feel I’m always stuck. Sometimes I wish I could just wear a crop top and feel confident or look at my body the way others do. If I want to cut weight I’ll just stop eating which is not healthy. For me, this was the only way I could control how I look. Self-love takes time. It takes years, and it's something that even at 32 I’m still working on.
From Comparison to Appreciation
Self-love to me is realizing social media isn’t real. Everyone has their struggles, and to not miss out on life because of a pimple or because you don’t feel skinny enough whatever that may look like to you. I have a quote that speaks to me when I’m down and need a little boost, especially when overcoming situations:
“You are probably constantly worrying about the next part of your life without realizing that you are right in the middle of what you used to look forward to”.
I love that one quote when I get upset or when I get a blemish but 90% of the time I’m able to go without makeup and have pretty skin and 7 years ago when I was at my lowest it was the one thing I wished for.
When I ask myself “What is happiness?” I find that happiness is not fulfilling every pleasure or getting every outcome you desire. Happiness is being able to enjoy life with a peaceful mind that is not constantly craving for more. It is the inner peace that comes with embracing change.
I love this perspective so much because as women we always want more. A better body, tighter face, prettier hair, nicer clothes. We should be happy with how we were created and the uniqueness that is naturally ours. With age, all of those desires fade away. You’re left with yourself, and the kind beautiful human you are.
The last saying I learned from another makeup artist I admire is “everyone is born perfect”.
Because you are. We are all perfect and unique in our own way.